December 4, 2014
How To Escape Pornography
By Mike McManus
"A survey of 1,000 men conducted by Proven Men Ministries and Barna Group found that a starting percentage of Christian men view porn
frequently. The research found that 77% of Christian men between the ages of 18
and 30 view porn monthly and 36% view it daily, with 32% admitting addiction,"
reported the December AFA Journal.
Older men are only slightly less addicted.
This powerful Satanic force is destroying millions of lives. Divorce lawyers
report that nearly two-thirds of divorces involve a porn addiction.
What can be done? A powerful new film offers trenchant analysis and a path out:
"The Heart of the Matter: Finding Light in the Darkness of Pornography and
It was produced by Nathan Lee, 33, who was addicted to porn from ages 14-27. The
first surprise of the film is that the porn addict today can be a man or a
woman, an attractive man in his 20s, a newlywed man or even a Bible-believing
The movie is a series of interviews of 30 people, who offer compelling testimony
in eye-opening categories: First Exposure, Getting Trapped, Escalation,
Affecting Relationships, Lying and Hiding, Sinking Deeper, Trying to Get Out,
Hitting Bottom, Speaking The Truth, Connecting, Recovery, and Embraced by His
"We live in a pornographic world. It is the wallpaper of our lives. It is
everywhere," says an expert.
Young people are told, "Itís harmless and itís fun." Tony says, "My first
exposure to pornography was six years old." A woman adds, "I was in junior
high." A young man recalls kids at school buying it when he was 12. "Wow, this
is great!" The fact it was forbidden made it more alluring.
Jessica, a beautiful young woman who wanted men to pursue her, saw pornography
as "almost research." Amy started watching porn with a man she was dating. "It
seemed like it enhanced our relationship. Looking back, it didnít."
"Your tolerance increases after you use it for a while. Then it turns into an
obsession. Then you start to have negative consequences." Work or relationships
Pastor Bernie Anderson thought that if he got married, "then the problem will go
away." But three weeks into his marriage, he went back to porn.
One expert asserts, "Guys will keep secrets thinking they are protecting their
wives from pain, but what theyíre really doing is protecting themselves from the
pain when they see how hurt their wife is."
Stevenís addiction led him to strip joints and prostitutes, making him feel he
was not worthy of his wife.
Wives often sense something is wrong, but donít know what it is. "He felt
distant from me," she tells a therapist. If she discovers his addiction, she
wonders, "Why arenít I enough for him?" One woman began her relationship as a
happy person, but left "completely hollowed out. I was tired and ugly."
Many porn addicts realize its harmful effects, and swear to quit, but constantly
relapse. Paul laments, "I went from the superstar to a complete loser lowlife
pervert." He had to hit bottom before he developed the resolve to conquer the
Pastor Anderson confessed, "You have to let someone know. You have to lose the
anonymity." He called a pastor friend and confessed. "As I made that confession,
the real burden of the secret was lifted."
David said he decided, "I am not stuck on this track of darkness and deception.
Lies and secrecy keep you in this prison." He found a "safe person" he could
confess his sin to.
When husbands tell their wives, "most choose to stay and work it out," says
Geoff Steurer, Director of a LifeSTAR Chapter. "This surprises a lot of men" who
assume that if she knew, she would leave him. "Itís worth taking that risk and
giving her the chance to be real with you, and work together on overcoming
"You are about to get a new marriage if you stay with it and if you are both
really honest and authentic and transparent about this," he adds.
Many also need to get to a counsellor who specializes in sexual addition
therapy, and/or a twelve step program such as Sexaholics Anonymous, in which sex
addicts tell their stories of recovery to encourage one another.
Finally, remember that Jesus sought out sinners. When the woman was caught in
adultery, Jesus told her accusers, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be
the first to throw a stone at her." When they walked away, he told her, "Go now
and leave your life of sin."
If you or someone you know is addicted to porn, download this powerful film for
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