July 7, 2010
Column #1,506
“The Scandal of
Southern Baptist Divorce”
By Mike McManus
At its recent annual meeting, the Southern Baptist
Convention (SBC) unanimously passed a remarkable resolution on “the scandal
of Southern Baptist divorce,” -- “an attempt to speak first to ourselves,
and to call ourselves to repentance and accountability.”
America’s
largest Protestant denomination has publicly confessed to a major failure,
an unprecedented step in my three decades as an Ethics & Religion columnist.
The
resolution articulated the conviction that the SBC must:
1.
Realize “how damaging Southern Baptist accommodation to the divorce
culture is to our global witness for Christ.”
2.
Confront “the spiritual wreckage left in our Southern Baptist
churches by our own divorce rates and our silence about the same.”
3.
Acknowledge that “areas where Southern Baptist churches predominate
in number often have higher divorce rates than areas we would define as `unchurched’
and in need of evangelical witness.” (This is correct. Mississippi’s
divorce rate is 82 percent (13,000 divorces vs. only 15,900 marriages).
Arkansas’ rate is 63 percent; Kentucky, 59 percent.)
4.
Confess that “Even the most expansive view of the biblical exceptions
allowing for divorce and remarriage would rule out many, if not most, of the
divorces in our churches.”
5.
Admit that “The acceleration in rates of divorce in Southern Baptist
churches has not come through a shift in theological conviction about
Scriptural teaching on divorce but rather through cultural accommodation.”
Dr. Richard Land, President of the SBC’s Ethics and
Religious Liberty Commission, and the church’s most prominent spokesman for
two decades, told me that this astonishing resolution emerged from ”a
growing revulsion by conservative Christians that too many Southern Baptists
and other Christians are quoting the Bible by the yard, and practicing it by
the inch.”
“We have
thoroughly conservative leadership in our denomination, and yet the numbers
getting divorced are getting worse, and people are just appalled. We clearly
believe that the churches have failed to teach and uphold a standard of a
biblical concept of marriage. It is harming our witness terribly.”
Therefore, the
Southern Baptist resolution urged its churches to:
·
“Address the spiritual wreckage in our Southern Baptist
churches by our own divorce rates and our silence about the same.”
·
Proclaim the word of God on the permanence of marriage, and
provide on-going enrichment opportunities.
·
Marry only those who are “biblically qualified” and understand
the meaning of lifelong love and fidelity, a covenant “until death do them
part.”
·
Urge those “in troubled or faltering marriages to seek godly
assistance and where possible, reconciliation.”
This is
an extraordinary “mea culpa” by a national Christian denomination, which
ought to be emulated by other national churches.
However, there is a missing element, a failure to recognize that the
marriage culture cannot be restored by a decree from the leaders of a
national denomination, or even by well-intentioned churches. For example,
many pastors think what a troubled marriage needs is to see a Christian
counselor. (I wrote a recent column reporting that couples who do so are
two to three times more likely to divorce.)
On the
other hand, every church has couples who have survived marital crises such
as adultery or bankruptcy, who could be trained to tell their story of
recovery to a couple in crisis, and can save four of five such marriages.
However, how can they be identified and trained to be of assistance?
An
Episcopal priest, asked this question any pastor could ask: “Are there any
couples whose marriages were once on the rocks, but are now in a state of
healing? If so, I’d like to meet with you after the service.” Of 180 people
in church that day, 10 couples showed up. They developed a 17-step recovery
strategy, like the 12 steps of AA, and helped save 38 of 40 crisis
marriages.
In my
reporting for this column, I have come across similar proven interventions
at other stages of marriage: preparation with 93 percent success rate over
two decades, and a “Stepfamily Support Group” that saves 80 percent of
marriages, which typically divorce at a 70 percent rate.
My wife
and I lead Marriage Savers, a ministry which helped the clergy of 229 cities
to create a Community Marriage Policy to implement these reforms. We train
the mentors. Result: the divorce rate for cities falls 17.5 percent on
average and has plunged in half in Austin, Kansas City, KS and its suburbs,
El Paso, Modesto, CA and Salem, OR. Cohabitation rates drop by a third
compared to similar cities in each state. Marriage rates rise about 16
percent.
To
learn more, go to
www.marriagesavers.org.
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