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June 28, 2011

Column #1,557

A Conservative Responds to Gay Criticism

By Mike McManus

                Last week I wrote a column, “Ten Reasons to Oppose Same Sex Marriage” that I hoped would help defeat a bill then pending in New York to legalize same-sex marriage. I had used those arguments about a similar bill in Maryland, where the bill was tabled. 

                My effort in New York had zero impact.  In a Republican-controlled Senate, four Republicans voted with 29 Democrats to allow gays or lesbians to marry.  New York became the sixth and largest state to redefine marriage.  Suddenly twice as many Americans lived in such states. 

                When Gov. Cuomo signed the bill at midnight Friday, the Empire State Building, the city’s tallest building, was lit awash in rainbow colors.  “Like a warning flare, the reds and blues and greens exploded over the city, announcing the arrival of same-sex `marriage’ to the world,” wrote Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council.

                “Overnight, New York had become a beacon in the fight for the family – a symbol of people who had lost their way.”

                Meanwhile, a reader of my column in far away New Iberia, Louisiana, wrote to chastise me.  I noted that in all 30 states with referenda to limit marriage to a man and a woman, traditional marriage was upheld.  “Warren” replied,   “When you put minority rights up for a vote, of course the majority can reject issues like this.”  

I responded in a letter to him that he had “a valid criticism,” but noted he did not answer my question, “Why are so few gays/lesbians interested in marriage?” Gay marriage has been possible in Massachusetts since 2004, but there were only 12,000 gay or lesbian unions.  That was only 14% of the estimated 165,000 gay/lesbian people in the state.

My column asked, “Why should the definition of marriage be changed when only a tenth of 2% of the population wants to force the change?”

      I also argued “Gay sex is a choice.” 

Warren objected, “When you say a lot of people choose homosexuality you’re wrong.” I replied, “I am willing to concede that point.  However, how do you explain the fact that thousands of people who were gay or lesbian have come out of that lifestyle, and been able to create successful traditional marriages? 

I suggested he call Regeneration Ministries (410 661-0284) to ask for a similar organization near him.  

                Warren also asked, “When marriage would probably provide stability to the gay community, even though some people haven’t chosen to get married doesn’t mean people don’t want that.”

If gay marriage were “normal,” you would be right,” I replied.  It is a sexual aberration, not a natural union like that of a man and a woman.  Their physical bodies differ in such a way as to permit a natural union.  Vaginal sex is normal; anal sex between two men is not.  If it were, there would be many lifelong gay unions, when that is rare.  More than 4 out of 5 married couples have never cheated on each other, while promiscuity among gays is normal.”

Warren asked whether “It would be more Christian to.…accept people for who they are, rather than demonize them?”

I responded, “I am not demonizing gays when I say they are not interested in marriage.  I am simply stating a fact which I back up with data.  Gays have the right to choose any lifestyle they like, to have a new lover every week, or to live chastely with one other person.  What I object to is that one-tenth of gays interested in marriage are dictating to 98% of the culture that the definition of marriage has to change after thousands of years.”

He asked, “Don’t you think it would be better for children to have two loving parents, even though they are gay, rather than growing up in foster care or with two crappy parents?”

I responded, “No, I think that a child who has two gay parents, and is exposed to the rampant promiscuity of that lifestyle, will learn horrible things about what is normal.  The best parents are a married man and woman committed to each other and to their children.”

“However, I concede that many marriages are crappy.  My wife and I lead a national ministry called Marriage Savers, which has trained thousands of couples in healthy marriages to mentor couples preparing for marriage.  The result?  Christ Lutheran Church in Overland Park, Kansas prepared 100 couples for marriage, none of whom have divorced, according to Pastor Jeff Meyers.  And 15 couples in crisis marriages saved their marriage, while two divorced.

                Thus, it is possible to virtually eliminate divorce.

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