Marriage 911 – First Response
Is your marriage in crisis?
Has your spouse given up on you and said she is going to file for divorce,
or perhaps has already done so? Do you feel as if you are in a car wreck,
bleeding but too weak to get out?
Good news: you aren’t alone.
Divorce is opposed by four out of five spouses. No Fault Divorce laws have
unwisely given just one spouse the power to end a marriage.
A proven resource is
available to help you save your marriage for only $28.
Marriage 911 – First
Response is a 12-weekwork course that prompts personal and spiritual
growth to help you mature so much that you can attract your partner back.
you also need other “tools:” the Bible and a Christian friend of the same
gender, whom you ask to be your Support Partner, meeting an hour a week for
three months. Marriage 911 includes a Support Partner
Handbook for your friend, to offer encouragement and accountability.
You must also read a
Chapter of Proverbs every day. There are 31 chapters, so you will read
through it three times during the course. As you read it, journal about
what God is teaching you.
Your Workbook will also
ask you to make a “Self-Nurture List” of 10-20 activities you enjoy that
“are not immoral, illegal or expensive.” Like walking, biking, fishing,
attending a movie or sports activity, or reading a novel. When marriages
go sour, people lose a sense of who they are as individuals. Nurture
When the person meets
with his Support Partner, he will be asked, “What was one thing God showed
you while reading Proverbs this week?
He might answer, “I read
Proverbs 15:1: `A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger.’ Perhaps that’s why she left me. She often said, `You treat me like
dirt, but are so kind to neighbors.’ I was a fool. I DID take her for
granted, and was too harsh with her.”
His friend might
respond, “I am glad you recognize that in yourself. What will you do about
“I’m going to write her
a letter, and confess my sin. After she gets the letter, I’ll call her up
and ask her to go to dinner to discuss my resolution to be a more caring
I interviewed Michelle
and Ali Quiles in Tampa whose marriage was saved by Marriage 911. “Before
we were constantly fighting and bickering about petty things, at each
other’s throats,” said Ali. “We still do argue, but I now have a humility
with my wife. I appreciate her more.”
Michelle added, “I
learned I needed to seek a relationship with Christ first, which made
everything else fall in place. I am a person who has struggled with anger my
whole entire life. I learned that anger is a secondary emotion. From that
point, I actually felt cured of my anger. The course helped me as a person.”
Changed people, change
Their leaders, Lee and
Marie Perella, are a volunteer couple, who led a 13 week course at The
Crossing Church, using not only the Workbooks, but a DVD series featuring
its authors, Joe and Michelle Williams. What’s unusual is that all of the
men sit at one table led by Lee, and the women are together at another
table, hosted by Marie. They view a short video, discuss it and then
individuals meet with their Support Partner to discuss that week’s theme.
“It’s a triage center
to help the wounded,” Lee told me. “One partner may have already left, and
there appears to be no hope of restoration. We come alongside, give them
comfort and support, and keep them focusing on God, rather than each other.
In recent sessions, the guys noticed that one man did not show up for two
weeks. We took a picture of us staring at his empty chair, and sent it to
Amanda Wood, a
psychologist leading a group in California, told me, “In traditional
marriage counseling, the couple comes and discusses whatever the fight was
about that week. In Marriage 911 we have a gal whose husband
didn’t attend. She said, “I will work on my part to find where I have been
wrong and I will be the best wife to him, the hands and feet of Christ.”
Amanda added, “I love
Michelle Williams says
on one DVD: “Before you can truly reconcile with your mate, you must
reconcile with God first.”
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