January 31, 2013
Column #1,640
"The State of Our
Unions: 2012"
(first of a two-part series)
By Mike McManus “As recently as the 1980s, only 13 percent of
the children of moderately educated mothers were born outside of
marriage. By the late 2000s, this figure rose to a striking 44
percent,” asserts the new annual report, “The State of Our
Unions: 2012.”
“The disappearance of marriage in Middle America is tracking
with the disappearance of the middle class in some communities,
a change that strikes at the heart of the American Dream.”
Yet what we are hearing “even from political and social leaders
who think marriage is important is silence, tentativeness, or
worse, despair. Even those who believe marriage matters seem to
think that nothing can be done.”
Fortunately the authors – W. Bradford Wilcox and Elizabeth
Marquardt, who co-direct The National Marriage Project” – “beg
to differ.” In fact, they developed 10 recommendations which
they boldly call “The President’s Marriage Agenda.”
“We invite our president and our nation’s leaders to confront
the challenge facing marriage in Middle America,” which they
define as the nearly 60 percent of Americans aged 25 to 60 who
have a high school, but not a four year college degree, for whom
“Marriage is rapidly slipping away.”
Some data on the scale of the problem: Among women under age 30,
an alarming 53% of all births “occur outside of marriage.”
College-educated women have only a 6% unwed birth rate. But for
high school graduates it’s 44% – close to 54% for high school
dropouts, “with all the attendant problems of economic stress,
partner conflict, single parenting and troubled children,”
writes Wilcox.
“Why should we care? Marriage is not merely a private
arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage
helps to unite the needs and desires of couples and the children
they produce,” which is the best environment for “children to
thrive.” It is also helps adults to succeed and to weather the
bad times.
The disappearance of marriage is what lies behind the drop of
middle-income households from 61 percent in 1971 to only 51
percent now. During those years, the percentage of middle-income
households headed by married couples dropped “dramatically from
74 to 55 percent.”
The report documents “most children born outside of marriage are
born to cohabiting couples,” who are much more likely to break
up than married couples. While two out of three couples who
marry are cohabiting, of the 7.6 million who were living
together in 2011, only 1.5 million married.
Therefore, the report, asks the President “as a cultural leader
who can inspire citizens, especially young people” to address
marriage restoration. How?
First. “End Marriage Penalties.” Low income people who choose to
marry can lose up to 20% of their income, such as Medicaid and
food stamps. For example, the report suggest giving low-income
couples tax credits for the exact amount of their marriage
penalty, measured by a “Marriage Calculator” at the Urban
Institute.
Second, “Help Young Men Become Marriageable Men.” Offer
apprenticeships so young men can gain work experience and
credentials. Teach marriage skills to those in the military and
those coming out of prison.
Third, “End Anonymous Fatherhood.” If a woman is pregnant from a
one-night stand, the father will pay child support. But if she
has a sperm donor, he gets off with no obligations. Britain and
Sweden have banned anonymity in sperm donors. We should too.
Fourth, “Enact the Second Chances Act to Reduce Unnecessary
Divorce,” advocated by UMN Professor William Doherty to extend
the waiting period for divorce to a year (while 25 states have
zero waiting). Require couples with children to take a course on
the impact of divorce on kids before filing, plus education
about the option of reconciliation that 40% desire.
Fifth, “Encourage state and federal government to invest in and
evaluate marriage and relationship education programs.” The Bush
Administration provided $100 million a year for Healthy Marriage
Initiatives, renewed in 2011 at $75 million. The report urges 1%
or 2% of welfare funds to help at-risk couples to “form and
sustain healthy marriages and relationships.” That is
reasonable, though initial results are mixed and small.
Sixth, “Engage Hollywood,” urges Obama to launch “a conversation
with Hollywood “about marriage and family formation, including
constructive critiques and positive ideas for change in media
depictions of marriage and fatherhood.” Wilcox says, “Hollywood
has a much bigger influence on contemporary families than any
public initiative.”
Pat Fagan of the Family Research Council, admires the report,
but says “All the government can give is money and justice. it
can’t generate love between human beings. The place to go for
that is churches and they are failing.” |
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