January 2, 2014
Column #1,688
How To Prevent Suicide
By Mike McManus This is a season of joy for most of us. For others, it is a
dark time – a time for suicide.
Suicide is the third largest killer of young people, and #2 among those aged
25-34.
More than twice as many Americans kill themselves – as are murdered.
In 2006, there were 45,300 highway deaths and only 33,300 suicides. That
situation has reversed. Traffic deaths plunged to only 34,700 in 2011 while
suicides jumped to 38,300.
Deaths from suicide are only part of the problem. Another million adults
attempted suicide and 487,700 were hurt badly enough in 2011 to be treated in
hospitals for self-inflicted injuries – wounds from guns, etc.
Therefore, it’s important for all to understand what puts people at risk of
suicide, and how to help them.
Those at the greatest risk are people who attempted to kill themselves or who
have a family history of suicide, according to Centers for Disease Control.
Other risk factors are a history of depression or other mental illness, a
history of alcohol or drug abuse, a recent stressful life event or loss - and
easy access to guns or other lethal methods.
Most people are uncomfortable with the topic of suicide. However, if you know
someone who is depressed and has expressed feelings of hopelessness – you can
respond with strength and courage. Not all suicides can be prevented, but a
majority can.
Only a small number of suicides happen without warning. Most people who kill
themselves warn of their intentions. Therefore, all threats of self-harm should
be taken seriously. What warning signs?
First, they may talk or write about death or suicide. Often there are changes in
behaviors or mood, or the person may cry a lot. They may talk about themselves
negatively or harshly and stop participating in regular activities. They may
give away personal possessions and buy weapons or pills.
They may express feelings of personal failure or hopelessness, overwhelming
sadness or guilt or feelings of being a burden to others.
In such cases, speak with the person. Listen very carefully. This is what you
might hear: “I can’t go on. I have nothing to live for. No one cares about what
happens to me. I’m at the end of my rope. I just want the pain to stop.”
Experts advise do not tell him or her how they should feel or what s/he should
do. Express a desire to be supportive: “You may feel so alone, but you are not
alone.”
Above all, address the issue directly and voice the unspeakable: “I’m so worried
about you. Are you thinking about killing yourself?” Encourage the person to
seek help from their physician or a trusted counselor.
Some worry that if the issue of suicide is raised, that it will put the idea in
the head of the person. Actually, your surfacing of the issue may bring
tremendous relief. The person can feel that at last, someone has heard them
clearly. No longer does he/she feel invisible.
If the person confesses to contemplating suicide, ask if there is a plan to do
so? Is there a weapon or pills that might be fatal? If so, ask them to be put
into another room while you are talking. “Why? I can just get them again,” might
be the response. To which you can say, “Right. So why not put them away for the
moment? You can get them whenever you want. Right now, I need you to stay with
me and focus on our conversation.”
This may seem blunt, but can be effective. You become a minor authority figure.
Use that authority to get the person to follow your instructions, even if only
for a moment.
Having ideas about suicide, a plan and the means to commit suicide constitute a
very serious, immediate danger. Next, ask someone to help you, or call the
police, if possible. Suicides rarely happen with someone else present. Staying
with the person until calm is restored is important.
Say that you are there for them, and ask they tell you everything. Why is the
person contemplating suicide?
If possible, have them call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a suicide prevention hot
line. Or you do so. Help is available 24 hours a day, every day.
It may seem counterintuitive to mention the possibility of suicide. But experts
say that your having the guts to do so will be a refreshing change to one who
tends to feel invisible to others. You show them you have heard their cry in
pain.
Finally, pray.
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, but for the rights of all
who are destitute,” says Proverbs 31:9.
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