Ethics & Religion
Column #1,831
September 29, 2016
Guard Your Heart: Part I
(first of a two-part series)
By Mike McManus
Rev. John and Susan Yates conducted a seminar on the theme, "Guard Your
Heart," a teaching that attracted 150 people to The Falls Church
Anglican last Saturday.
"You are listening to people married 47 years with 21 grandchildren," he
said with a twinkle. But he quickly became serious: "I don't know of any
other aspect of life that is more important as our relationship with
God. He can be a spring of water, welling up, keeping us alive
spiritually."
He outlined how one might develop "Intimacy with God." He reminded us
that "God loves us like most caring fathers." Jesus told us 100 times
that "God is our Father" who knows your secret needs. In the Sermon on
the Mount, Jesus said, "Look at the birds of the air...Your heavenly
Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
How can one develop an intimacy with God? "Make the first priority of
the morning to spend time alone with God." How? By reading Scripture and
praying. "A growing intimacy with Jesus will help all of your other
relationships."
Susan added, "Our kids can keep us from God. We mothers put the needs of
our kids ahead of God. We let business - our cell phone - to keep us
from time alone with God."
They each get up at or before dawn to read Scripture and do so
separately. She likes to read the Psalms and Proverbs, where there is
one chapter for every day of the month.
John confessed, "It is hard to be honest with God. I talk to God out
loud, and push myself to give into God." In fact, they believe it is
important to have a healthy fear of God. Proverbs 14:24 states, "He who
fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a
refuge."
My wife and I build the Lord into our life every morning - but together,
not separately. We read from a quarterly publication, "Encounter with
God," by Scripture Union (Box 215, Valley Forge, PA 19481). It is mailed
to all members of our church. I read aloud one page for each day that
opens with prayer, a Scriptural passage of 10-20 verses, followed by a
commentary on that Scripture, and a relevant closing prayer. Harriet and
I then pray for each other, our family and any needs.
Second, John and Susan outlined how they develop "Intimacy with Spouse."
He began by noting Scripture calls us to first love God "and your
neighbor as yourself." If you are married, "your primary neighbor is
your spouse. A loving intimacy with your spouse cannot be achieved
without consistent time with your spouse."
Susan noted "It is easy to put children before your mate, which is a
subtle mistake. Our mate's needs must come first. As a practical step,
we go on a weekly Date Night. We have not made it every week, but have
it on our calendar every week. We don't use Date Nights to talk about
tough issues, but to have fun."
Finally, we do things that we enjoy together, like walking around the
block.
John warns that those who fail to invest in their mate "are vulnerable
to extramarital affairs or pornography. Marriage required continual
investing in one another." Otherwise, there is a danger that one's
marriage will go through five phases:
-
A Romantic Phase of intense attraction.
-
A Reality Phase as you learn more about each other.
-
A Renovation Phase, in which each struggles to make over their spouse.
-
A Retaliation Phase of hurt and bitterness.
-
A Rejection Phase.
America has the highest divorce rate in the civilized world. In 2014
there were
2,183,000 marriages and 1,156,000 divorces. That's a 52.9% divorce rate.
The United States has had one divorce for every two marriages for four
decades.
John and Susan promised each other on their wedding night, to pray
together every night before they go to sleep. They close with The Lord's
Prayer.
It has worked so well, they propose that couples take a 30 day
challenge. First each person shares concerns from their heart. Then pray
daily for one another: husband for the wife, and wife for the husband.
"That's husband and wife seeking God's help for one another."
Intimacy with God and spouse creates a solid foundation for a long and
rewarding life.
_____________________________________
Copyright (c) 2016 Michel J. McManus,
President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist. For previous
columns go to
www.ethicsandreligion.org. Hit
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